Take Your Time

Why would anyone be in a relationship with someone they don't like. It's funny to hear how some of the women I work with talk about their boyfriends/husbands. I often wonder what their man would say if he know how bad they were being talked about. I've been guilty of talking bad about my girl, but it's usually after a huge fight when I'm venting to someone in my small group of trusted friends. I'm not going to sit up there and bad mouth my fiance to a bunch of outsiders just because we're arguing or having issues. Besides if your partner is so bad what does that say about you? You're the one that chooses to be with that person. The problem is that we don't take the time out to get to know each other before we get serious anymore.

When you first start dating you're not meeting a real person, you're meeting their Avatar. A false representation of who they think you would be attracted to. You have to accept the fact that there will be multiple lies. I mean why should you have to tell a complete stranger your business? I think I speak for most guys when I say that. "As long as you're giving it up, we really don't give a damn what you're talking about anyway." (Str8 Face) The way I see it, you pretty much have to let every lie told in the first six months of a relationship slide.

#LiesMenTell
1. We're not together anymore. We just live together.
2. I don't have any kids.
3. I would've gone pro if it wasn't for my bad knees.(Or back or the coaches didn't like me or whatever)
4. I would never do you like that.

And of course the classic...
5. I'm single.

Don't worry ladies I haven't forgotten about you. women lie just as much as men. They just have different types of lies.

#LiesWomenTell
1. That's just my baby's daddy.
2. I'm not like other girls.
3. I don't want to settle down and have kids either.
4. Who my ex? Please, I am so over him.

And of course the classic..
5. This is my real hair.

The bottom line is that it takes years to really get to know someone. We jump in to these so called "committed" relationships so quickly that by the time we realize we don't like each other, we have too much invested in the relationship to leave. At the end of the day I think we all need to slow it down just a little bit. I guess what I'm trying to say is... We can still have sex on the first night, we just can't move in with each other for a year or so.

Game Over

I love Video games, so do most of the guys I know. Although I know there are a lot of female gamers out there, I think it's fair to say that the majority of video game enthusiasts are men. A lot of people will never understand how a bunch of grown men can sit up all night playing games. It's because we've been doing it since we were kids. We grew up on Atari 2600, Turbo Graphics 16, Sega Genesis etc. On my 13th B-Day my mom got me a Nintendo. We must've stayed up til sunrise playing that Super Mario Bros. Then in high school, it was Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and 007. In my 20's it was Madden, NBA Live, and GTA. Now that I'm in my 30's though, I really don't play much anymore. I haven't had a gaming system for about 3 or 4 years now. To keep it real I'm really not looking to buy one anytime soon. I never thought I'd be saying this but, I think I've outgrown video games

When it comes to relationships, I've played many games over the years. Some guys just like to get a reaction from women. I know I do. As a teenager I got sick pleasure out of making girls fight over me. Later in life it was about making them fall in love with me so they would do whatever I asked. Some guys play games because they're afraid to commit and think that no matter how great their girl is, there's always something better right around the corner. Whenever they feel themselves getting too close they do something stupid to #EffItUp

GAMES GUYS PLAY

1. SHE CAME AT ME FIRST
In this game he sleeps with one of your friends or family members and acts like he couldn't help it cause he was seduced.
(The object of this game is to let your friends know how good he is in bed, this way he can have sex with all of them.)

2. BLOW UP
This is where he takes a small argument or misunderstanding and completely blows it out of proportion.
(The object of this game is to manufacture a reason to leave the house mad so he can't be held responsible for his actions that night.)

3. DUDE WHERE'S MY PHONE
In this game he loses his phone or accidentally leaves it in someones car.*
(The object of this game is to have an explanation for why he wasn't answering his phone while he was out banging another one of his #HoesOnTheSide )

4. SHE'S LIKE MY SISTER
This game involves a girl that he grew up with they've been friends since childhood. In most cases she's even cool with his family.
(The object of this game is to keep you jealous so you can spend all of your focus and energy on one girl instead of the 2 or 3 other ones he's messing with.**)

And of course the classic

5. FLIP THE SCRIPT
This is where he constantly accuses you of cheating.
(The object is to keep the focus on you. If both of you are always worried about your actions, who's going to worry about his?)

*= my battery was dead is acceptable
** = including the childhood friend


What if all of the games finally came to and end, and we spent the rest of our lives focusing on the things we love most. Things like spending time with our kids. Enjoying them while they're still young and learning from our own experiences so that we can be prepared to guide them when they face adversity in their lives. Spending time with our friends and loved ones and being able to tell the real ones from the fake ones. Making the most of our lives both personally and professionally. Paying attention and actually listening to each other in our relationships and working as a team to do better. How many of us truly know what our partners are passionate about? As for me, I love to express myself through music writing and performing. I love to travel experiencing different cultures and meeting new and interesting people. I love good music, good movies, good food, and a good laugh. But most of all I love my soon to be wife and my kids. I wake up each and everyday perfectly willing to lay down my life for them. And all I ask in return is the pleasure of their company. At the end of the day we all have to grow up. #NoMoreGames

Age Is Just a #?

Over the years I've always heard that woman mature faster than men. I've done a lot of research on this subject and scientifically that statement is false. Gender has no effect on maturity. In fact each person matures differently based on their life experiences. That said, I feel we can all agree that most parents expectations differ between their sons and their daughters. When boys are being immature we all laugh and say "Boys will be boys." When girls behave poorly we say "That's not how a young lady is supposed to act." I think it's fair to say that as a society we begin to focus our attention on our daughter's maturity or lack thereof at a young age, while allowing our sons to grow into manhood.

How old is too old? I asked around and the general consensus seems to be that 10-12 yrs age difference is cool for an older man and about 4-6 yrs. for and older woman, anymore and your pushing it... As a guy I get why Hugh Hefner is on T.V with 3 blondes. I know a lot of people get offended when they see a 75 yr. old guy running around with a 21 yr. old college student, but at the end of the day, you can't blame an old guy in the twilight of his life if he has what it takes to get a young hot chick to pay him some attention. At least no one is questioning their motives. She's trying to get her student loans paid and he's trying to complete his bucket list. If you think about it these can be some of the most honest relationships.

Older woman know their time is running out so they lower their standards because they don't want to spend the rest of their lives alone. That's why when you see them with a younger man he's usually a jobless con-man with a plan. You know who I'm talking about....

LIVES WITH OLDER LADY GUY!!!

1. I can't get a job because I owe too much back child support.

2. I'm 32 and I still play madden all day.

3. All I need is somebody with GD credit to help me get my record label off the ground...

4. I can take the kids to school in your car... run some errands... and come get you from work just in time for dinner..

The list could go on forever, and we all know there's a younger chick on the side. I guess you can say he's like a live-in babysitter with benefits. Now that I think about it, woman of all ages are with this guy. I think we'll change his name to... GUY AFTER MY BABY DADDY!!

The difference is younger woman eventually see this guy for who he is and move on. Older women knew who he was in the first place but he's circumcised and he makes the best fried chicken they've ever had.

I think a lot of men date older women because they're lazy and want to take the easy way out. All you have to do is listen to what she has to say about all of her X's (believe me that's all she'll talk about NE way) and do the exact oppisite of what they did. Young women are more challenging, their attention span is low. You have to be creative and take risks to gain and maintain they're interest. On the other hand, girls like to date older men for a sense of security. A lot of them are looking for a father figure.

As always you there are exceptions to every rule and you can't help who you fall in blah blah blah... I get it. However, I will leave you with this thought. If a guy that has known you all of your life and gruaduated high school while you were still in elementary school asks you out to dinner.... He's a #Rapo...

Can't Buy Me Love?

(*= google it)

Confidence... To me it's the single most compelling feature in a woman. 30% of men say the least attractive quality is lack of self esteem. Don't get it twisted there is a such thing as being over confident. A lot of you chicks out there are not as hot as you think you are. Ladies, I know you feel the same way. I have a feeling that most of you gave a few losers a chance back in high school. They either couldn't handle you or got all stalkerish* on you. Real women want to "EFF" with a #winner.

In today's society, your income is often viewed as a direct reflection of your success. "Keep it real" a college graduate working at a distinguished law firm with a wife and 3kids is closer to what most people consider a winner than a high school drop out with 3 kids and 2 Baby's Mommas working part time at Mickey D's. I know that no matter how rich or how poor you may be, each of us are faced with our own set of challenges. I just happen to believe it's easier to overcome these obstacles if you're not worried about how you're going to pay the light bill. Money cant buy everything. It definitely can't buy love or happiness. But when it comes to relationships it can grant you access to more options.... #followme

Scenario 1

If you're looking for me tonight.. You can find me at the club (Curtis Jacskon* voice). Just finished shopping a few hours ago. I found the perfect outfit. Sean John jeans ($65.99)Matching T-shirt ($32.00) A brand new Fitted* ($33.99) just big enough that you can barely see the Fresh Fade* ($15.00) I got from the Divine Hair Design that afternoon.(shout out to Gr8Dame).To finish'em off, I went to the Nike Factory outlet and got some of the sickest J's (#abuckfitty) I've ever seen. I get out the shower, get dressed, and put on some smell goods. Needless to say, I'm kinda of like a big deal right now. Me and my boys are from out of town we pull up in rentals ($100). We in the building and every body's checking us out. We buy sum above average sorority girls a few drinks ($50.00) then it's off to the hotel ($200).. #youknowtherest !! For six or seven hundred bucks, not bad.

Scenario 2

I'm headed to an awards ceremony, then off to the after party. Several A-list celebrities will be there as well as some very influential businessmen. The final touches on my Canali Suit ($4,200) are done. I slide on a fresh new pair of python skin Ferragamos ($900). Oh yeah, you know I can't forget the Rolex ($10,000) ... I get to the function and get the red Carpet treatment. Needless to say , it's all eyes on me (Pac Voice). I'm at the after party kicking it in the VIP room buying a few more bottles of Cristal ($1800) for my guests. I come out with this bad lil' Brazilian model. We do 0-60 in 3.8 sec. in the Benz Slr ($495,000) and mash to my condo overlooking the city ($10,000 per month) she gets comfortable then calls her girlfriend and tells her to come over... #youknowtherest (Pricele$$)..

Calm down ladies, I know it's not about the money, those scenarios are more about hooking up than meeting someone and developing a long term relationship. However, I don't think you'd mind if a nice looking successful guy came along and began taking you places you've never been before. On a more realistic level, every girl likes it when her man buys her something new every once in a while. 25% of women think money makes a man sexier, most women I meet wouldn't know the difference between a Rolex and a Swatch*. There's something about the way people with money carry themselves you can just tell. At the end of the day there are always exceptions. A lot of rich guys are extremely insecure and even more of them are just plain #tools. My advice to them... Don't trip, you can always afford a good hooker.

Oreo with double stuff!!

An august 2003 Bureau of Justice statistics analysis shows that 32 per cent of black males born in 2001 will spend some time in prison over the course of their lifetime. According to a recent survey 15.4 % of African Americans are unemployed, that's compared to Hispanics (12.4%) and Whites (8.6%). Needless to say, being a black man in America comes with it's share of challenges. I firmly believe that the systematic breakdown of the black family is the primary reason we are faced with so many struggles.... That said, I'm engaged to a white chick.

Now when I say white, I mean white. She's not part Native American, part Mexican, part Asian, she doesn't even act black (a little ghetto sometimes though). She's Polish, Irish, and German. It doesn't get much whiter than that. She even has a white name, how many black girls do you know named Katie. She watches The Hills, and thinks Brad Pitt and Gerrard Butler are "Hot".

I'll be the first to admit that as a teenager I dated a few Hannah Montanas, but pretty much after high school I had a new philosophy. If at least one of your parents wasn't black (or mixed with black and any other race but white) I wasn't "effin" with you. Don't get it twisted, it's not that I didn't find white women attractive. I just prefer black women.... Alecia Keys, Beyonce, Sanaa Lathan, Amerie are just a few of the names in my top ten. And that's just a list of current bad ones, don't get me started on the all time list... So when I hooked up with my now future wife, I never expected it to last this long.

I've experienced some racial discrimination in my lifetime, but nothing compared to the racism I've come across now that I'm in an interracial relationship ("IR"). Black women hate to see an "IR" more that any other group of people in existence. When me and my girl pull up at Popeyes... maaaannn if looks could kill I'd be a dead man walking. I can't even bring my white chick to church without gettin' "The Beat Box." (google it)

A common myth is that most white guys don't like to see us with their women. Not True. At the end of the day most white guys don't like us period. The white guys that do care about us dating their women, are either just plain racist or over 40 and single. Besides the more white women we date, the more black women for them. Is it me, or are there a lot more white men with black women nowadays. Maybe I just notice it more cause I'm in an "IR". Kind of like when you buy and new car then you start seeing that same car everywhere you go. Safe to say I speak for the majority of black men when I say "We just don't like seeing a white guy with a fine black woman." (you can keep the ugly ones).

Look, I know people will always make judgments based on appearance. And I know that racism will always exist. We have a black president now which is proof that we've come a long way. But I still don't see how anyone can actually enjoy watching NASCAR which is proof we still have a long way to go.

In conclusion, don't we already have enough "ish" to deal with? Life is to short to be worrying about the next man's relationship. #realtalk

Can't we all just get along?

Mother's Day was just yesterday. After church we went to a friends house and had a BBQ. While we were eating I asked the question... Why doesn't "New Chick" get along with "Baby's Momma"? First of all there are a lot of women out there that don't have a problem with their "Baby Daddy's" new girl. If you get along with your man's Baby's Momma (BM for short) good for you. If you don't I want to know why.

Here are some of my thoughts on the subject...

In some cases,BM doesn't like the new chick because that's who her man was messing around with in the first place. Normally that would seem like a good reason to hate, but you have to think about why your man was running around with that other girl. Obviously there was something wrong with your relationship to begin with and your beef should be with the man not the new chick. But some of you BMs are just mad because you still want that man even though he's already moved on. Why can't you let go. I mean who wants to be with somebody that don't want you. I really can't stand it when BM uses the kids to manipulate the father into doing things that causes problems in his new relationship. Most of us guys are going to come running if it has something to do with our kids and although we know BM may have ulterior motives we can't take that chance. Sometimes they have legitimate reasons, other times they just want to get us over there so they can try to seduce us.

However, "New Chick" you're a woman too, and you know that the man didn't always treat his BM with respect. Now she's trying to raise both of their kids by herself and no matter how much money he gives her or how many weekends they spend at dad's house, she still has to deal with the day to day issues that go along with raising a child. So you can probably understand why she holds a grudge. I would really like to get a response from "Baby's Momma" and "New Chick". "Baby's Daddy" I suggest you stay out of this one.

You're a jerk! I know...

It's an age old question and the answer still eludes me. Why do good girls like bad guys? (DMX (feat. Dyme) voice)

I always hear women say "All the good men are taken." Face it ladies you don't want a "Good Man", you want a "Bad Boy". You're looking for a thug , a roughneck, a rebel that does whatever he wants. He's sexy, he's confident, he takes control, but most of all you think you're going to be the one to tame him.

The effed up part about it is this is the same guy that treats you like ish.. Now every other week it's the same ol' story.... "He never spends time with me" "He's always at the club with his boys." "I know he's fu$$in that dirty bitch at his job. I see the way she looks at him!" Most of the time though, you brought it on yourself. I've seen men slap their girl, choke'em up, call them every name in the book, and publicly humiliate them. Still she stays with him. Some ladies are like magnets for losers. While others always go for the wrong man while the guy that would treat them right is standing right in their face. How many of you girls got a friend right now who's hella cool. You always talk and go out with each other (usually after a breakup). He's always there for you when you need him. he calls you on your B-day. He gives you advice. You've probably even hooked up on a drunk night and it wasn't half bad, but "you just can't see yourself with him like that." So you continue to get used and end up with a broken heart once again.

Believe me, I was a "Bad Boy" for a long time. And I have to admit it was a lot of fun. But I was always taught that when we become men we do away with childish things. I'm in my thirties I have 5 kids and I go hard everyday to build a better future for them. Everything they learn about relationships starts in the home. So as a father I have to be mindful of the way I treat their mom (whether I'm with her or not)and the way I treat all of the women in my life. I might not always make the right choice, but at the end of the day I am working on being a better man. #Imjustsayingthough