After nine years I finally asked her to marry me. I have two kids that live with their mother in New Jersey. Jalo my oldest son is sixteen and Martinique my oldest daughter is eleven. My fiance Katie has a nine year old son Jason from a previous relationship that lives with us and the three kids we've had together. Davonni and Xavier are the six year old twin boys and Adrian is my three year old baby girl. Over the years we've had our ups and downs and I know that our relationship is much stronger now than it has ever been. The future is looking promising for us both personally and professionally. We have good kids, good jobs, great families and great friends. For years we've been constantly asked the same questions over and over again. You know questions like..."Why aren't you guys married yet?" and "Man when are you going to put a ring on that girl's finger?" Now I admit nine years is a long time but the truth is none of them had any idea what was going on in our relationship. To them we were just this cute happy little family. The truth is there was a time when she was ready and I wasn't and vice versa. Now that we've taken that next step, I finally understand what they meant when they said "If it's the right time you'll just know. "
So how long is too long? Guys if you love her what are you waiting for? If you don't love her, why don't you just leave her and go be with that "Beezy" that keeps calling you with the private number. Ladies, what's the rush? I mean when we first meet you and are trying to "hit it" aren't you the ones that are always saying "I just feel like we're moving too fast." Then as soon as you give it up, you're picking out a wedding dress. Besides don't relationships take time to develop? I want to know your thoughts.
So how long is too long? Guys if you love her what are you waiting for? If you don't love her, why don't you just leave her and go be with that "Beezy" that keeps calling you with the private number. Ladies, what's the rush? I mean when we first meet you and are trying to "hit it" aren't you the ones that are always saying "I just feel like we're moving too fast." Then as soon as you give it up, you're picking out a wedding dress. Besides don't relationships take time to develop? I want to know your thoughts.
As a woman, I think the rush is because as nurturers we sometimes seek out the fairytale ending without necessarily seeing that point of patience being a virtue because maybe we have friends around us who are getting married. Or because our motherly instincts are on high. I can't speak for the fellas but as a woman those are some of the things Ive heard.
ReplyDeleteTamii
I have never understood the rush to get married or having the BIG wedding in general. WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY!... Use that to put down on a house or pay off your debt!!... If you REALLY love each other use that money to provide a better future for the two of you... Dont start off your marriage in debt or more in debt!... I forsee many fights in your future about $$$$....
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion most women want to get married becuase it's the ultimate "prize" so to speak... Which is ridiculous!... Too many people get married for the wrong reasons such as "it's the RIGHT thing to do because we've been together so long" or "because we have children together" or "i'm not going to find anything better. i might as well settle with what i got" or "she/he pressured me too much and I didnt want to hurt their feelings"...
I think if you TRULY and SINCERLEY love someone with all your heart and soul you know that from early on in your relationship and that kind of love never dies... Love like that is hard to find... Also, if two people are lucky enough to have that love there is an understanding between the two and there is nothing that can come between them... Too much petty bullshit comes in to play in relationships...
Marriage in my opinon is a huge commitment and if you have any doubt or constant problems in your relationship you should not get married... If you want to try to work it out that is fine... But, dont get married and think that will fix it or that will make it get better... That's like having a baby to fix your relationship problems!... Same thing!... Problems are problems and they dont just disappear...
This is my opinon and I am sticking to it!... ;)
My Fiance and I were together for over 6 years before WE decided that it was time.
ReplyDeleteIt was almost like we made a joint choice that we were in the right mind frame to take the leap.
5 years ago we found out I was pregnant and I remember thinking when I looked at the test and it said positive that he was going to ask me to not have the baby ( not sure why I thought that) but when I told him he was happy and said let's do it. I remember crying and said "Please don't ask me to marry you just because I am going to have your baby".
After our daughter was born he decided that it was all to much and acted like a child for about 3 years and BAM he turned 30 and he just flipped the switch.
Anyways, I say that whatever 2 people decide to do it their choice and they should do what makes them happy not what makes everyone else happy.