My stepson Jason is about to be ten years old next week. Me and Katie were together before his second birthday. He's really smart, he excels at basketball and he's an all around good kid. I've known Jason's dad, Jason Sr, for over twenty years. We went to the same elementary/middle school together and he even went to the same high school I went to but I graduated the year before his freshman year. He also used to live next door to my best friend from childhood, Marquis (RIP). Everybody that grew up in North Portland back then were pretty much family. I guess you could say we grew up in a circle of people that grew up together. When I met Katie I knew she had a son by Jason. Him and little Jay look so much alike I didn't have to ask who his dad was. I can honestly say I've never felt guilty about it, and if Jason ever had a problem with it he never told me. Truth be told, at the end of the day I've kicked it with him way more since I got with Katie than I ever did before. Today me and Jason are good friends, and I feel any man who gets with someone that has a kid should establish a good relationship with "the babies daddy."
So what's off limits? Given our history did I cross the line talking to Jason's ex? In my experience most guys have a list: 1. Best Friend 2. Brother 3. "The guys" 4. Immediate family 5. First cousins and play cousins if they're a part of the entourage. Not necessarily in that order and there are some exceptions. There are a lot of "Skanless" women out there that ignore numbers one and two and go straight for your brother or best friend. Ladies keep it real though, your list is much longer. We're talking about a friend of a friend, your cousin's cousin, your "BFF" back in eighth grade that you haven't seen since, basically any girl that we met or heard you speak of while we were with you. Where do you draw the line?
Its rare to hear about ex's getting along let alone getting along with the new man or women ex. Its great if people are mature enough to do so. Even better for the kids. There's nothing worst then battling the person your with ex. I commend you for that. Kids are able to pick up on those things. A person is not wrong for getting with someone because they know the person their with ex from around the way. I think crossing the line is when its your family or best friend.
ReplyDeleteI think if you are comfortable with your relationship and there was no ill intentions then you cant do anything but respect that and visa versa. Now if you are entering into a relationship with someone who already is in a relationship and things have not yet ended then thats when you start to violate basic principles.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention a breakup brings out the worst in people, people generally act in ways that they normally wouldn't its just a recipe for drama and hurt feelings.
The fact that you have been able to maintain your relationship shows not only maturity but time for the old relationship to end and heal.
Life is so crazy and it will send you up and down its hard to say I would never do this or that unless you have actually walked in those same shoes.